Ages 4-5 (Preschool Manners)

What Works:

At this age, a child will have an incredible desire to please (even though they sometimes have a funny way of showing it).  They love earning smiles and praise.  For this reason, this is a perfect age for learning civil behaviors that will elicit these positive responses.  Since preschoolers still live and learn in a fantastical world, teaching these behaviors in a way that is highly imaginative is particularly helpful.  Also, because these children are torn between self-centeredness and concern for others, getting along with peers and siblings is generally a developmentally appropriate concern for Pre-K students.  Therefore, we will work hard (play hard?) at practicing skills that allow children to navigate these conflicting forces.  Gently and creatively nudging children away from a solely egocentric viewpoint toward a more others-oriented one is the goal.

(Ages 5-8) Modern Manners

What Works:

What works:  Children of this age think very concretely.  Therefore, teaching social etiquette is best taught by engaging in “real”, not overly abstract, activities.  Since “fairness” is still very important to children within this age group, activities work best if cooperative and not overly competitive in nature.  The powers to observe others and to empathize are slowly starting to develop toward the middle of this age group.  So, role playing and discussions about the feelings of others can be fun and really useful in expanding the understanding of what it means to “respect others”.   Also, children of this age want to know “why”.  They want reasons for traditions, including social traditions.    So, true stories of the origins of social expectations will appeal to their curiosity.  Because children in these early elementary years usually have a “world view” that is limited to family, neighborhood, and local community, table setting and dining manners will focus on typically American traditions.

(Ages 9-12) Modern Manners

What Works:

What works:  Social civility skill learning deepens at this level.  While children at this age still benefit from concrete learning activities, they also benefit from activities and discussion that allow them to evaluate behavior with insight.  Because peer group identification and fitting in becomes vitally important to children at this age, it is important to impress upon them that learning civil behaviors and attitudes allows them to become part of a very special peer group, one that fits in almost anywhere.  A child has great capacity to expand his or her world view at this time.  To take advantage of this great window of opportunity, we will often look at global cultural considerations.  Also, in addition to learning typical American table settings and manners, students will be introduced to other dining traditions.

(Ages 13-16) Preparing to Launch

What Works:

What works:  Most teenagers will balk at the idea of “having to” learn more social etiquette skills.  At this age, they are generally challenging these “old” concepts.  They are, however, very interested in finding out how to get and do what they want—and rightfully so.  Developmentally, this age group is charged with beginning to realize what they want from life.  Our job is to help them see that there are certain tricks of civil society (written and unwritten, spoken and unspoken) that will always give them the advantage, regardless of the goal.   So, by concentrating on what is utmost in a teen’s mind (peers, getting a job, electronic issues) and appealing to their desire to become increasingly independent, this class can simultaneously teach the civility skills we want our children to have.  Careful attention will be paid to teen’s intellectual growth and ability to think through situations in a way that was not previously possible.